Tuesday, 31 May 2005

Ode to Mosquitos

I love mosquitos
Mosquitos, mosquitos everywhere
I love mosquitos
In my eyes, up my nose, in my hair

I love mosquitos
They are faithful through and through
To their most important calling
A blood sucking annoyance to you

I love mosquitos
And their itchy bite
Itchy, itchy scratching
Scratch with all your might

I love mosquitos
I breed them in my yard
Small pools of stagnant water
It isn't very hard!

I love mosquitos
I wish they were around all year
'Cause when they finally peter out
I find I shed a tear

I love mosquitos
Though not as much as you
And so I'm willing to send them all
With their larvae too

I love mosquitos
When they are at YOUR house
Please feel free to keep them
And share them with your spouce

Thursday, 26 May 2005

My Spring

It's that time of the year that I mentally prepare for from the first hard frost of Autumn when everything melts into a mushy pile of rotting plant matter. May 25th ish. Planting time. The fragrant smell of lilacs and fresh loamy soil. The neighbours sticking their heads outside of their houses for longer than it takes to run from a heated car to the house. The sound of gentle rain tapping on the roof tops, followed by a warming sun drying out the puddles. Planting a wide array of rainbow coloured flowers of varying types and blooming seasons. Eagerly awaiting the time when their beauty can adorn my kitchen table. Vegetables planted in anticipation of fresh flavours bursting in our mouths at harvest time. Yes, this is my usual Spring.

This year things just haven't had the same appeal. Is it me or are there others out there feeling the same way? I look at the soil and think, it stinks. Mud, mud and more mud everywhere. But HEY! at least the grass is green! Doggie doo's litter my lawn and don't seem to be picking themselves up. A crowded market place makes parking difficult. (Ya right! you expect me to take public transit with a load of plants?!) Bug's crawling up my arms and legs as I find few places to sit that don't contain an ant hill. (That also includes inside of my house? Only here the ants are just shopping for dinner.) Smooshed worms littering my driveway after the continual downpours of this Spring. Sun? What's that? Rainbow of coloured flowers? My daughter picked the first totally black viola's I have seen in my entire life? Hmmm....where were these gems hiding previous years? I can't see my vegetable garden soil through the weeds. They came up faster than dinner on a rollercoster! (ooooh! that's a pleasant image.) My tacky lawn ornaments and furniture have yet to be dragged out so it can be used for all of 2 months at best, if it stops raining long enough to sit outside. That's worth the effort!

Do I want winter back?....HECK NO!
Do I want more rain?......What do you think?

Bring on the sun! It's time for some pleasant Spring rituals again.

Monday, 16 May 2005

Down to 10 single socks

Woo Hoo! I'm down from 13 to 10 single socks.

Thursday, 12 May 2005

Switcharoo trick


Be on the lookout for the individual or individuals who are responsible for the following crimes:

Switch-a-roo and the great sock caper
I awoke this morning to find that somebody had switched my sweet lovely children with horrible chocolate stealing, tantrum throwing, talking back evil ones who's sole purpose in life is to plot my downward spiral into insanity.
I know they are sneaking chocolate because the evidence is on their faces. I know they are throwing tantrums, because I am watching them. I know they are talking back because I am on the receiving end. I know they are trying to drive me insane, because that is what is happening. Their plan is working.
I also believe the same indiviual or individuals is guilty of sneaking socks out of the clothes basket when coming to switch my children with the afore mentioned ones. If you are reading this and you are the perpetrator of this horrific crime, please have the decency to at least come back and take the second sock of every pair. I am now up to 13 socks without a mate. (yes, I actually counted them.) I can't bare to do the laundry any more. I am afraid of what I might find. What's next....putting holes in all the underwear! Or how about for a jolly good laugh....no, no, I won't give you any further ideas.

Description of suspect(s):
*Will be driving a mini-van or other appropriate vehicle equiped with a large number of car and booster seats. Possibly with a dvd player or other form of entertainment if they are going any great distance. Ample number of cup holders for juice boxes and sippy cups.
*Likes to get interrogated while driving.
*Loves to listen to great musical hits like "the wheels on the bus" and "Old MacDonald." over and over and over again while driving. Does not find Bob the tomato or Larry the cucumber's voice annoying.
*Is one-legged.
*Has some fashion sense. Doesn't want to wear two socks from the same pair for fear someone might think they are wearing the same thing twice in a row.
*A great master-mind capable of scheming to come up with multiple diabolical plots to be carried out simultaneously.
*loves sweet, smart, creative, loving, caring, helpful, perfect children.
*Is a sick individual in need of some serious help.

I implore you to be on the lookout for the perpetrator(s) of these crimes. I am hoping that this crime can be solved before it is too late! I am running out of socks.

Thank you

Perpetual Chocoholic

Tuesday, 10 May 2005

So you think you're a chocoholic?

I am aware that being a chocolate lover is nothing new. The question I ask is how much chocolate do you have to eat to consider yourself a chocoholic? I know for a fact that I eat enough. How about you?

Signs you know that you are a serious chocoholic:

*Your faceprints, fingerprints and drool are smeared all over the Laura Secord's display case at the mall.

*People are starting to complain about the smell of chocolate perpetually on your breath despite the time of the day.

*You sleep walk to the chocolate jar sometime during the night. You know this because you awaken to melted chocolate on your hands and face and a scattering of chocolate chips on the sheets and floor beside the bed. (And you're fairly sure your significant other hasn't brought it to you in their sleep.)

*You have a chocolate jar. It's a big one. A really, really, large, takes up lots of cupboard space, kinda big one.

*Your chocolate chip cookies are made with more chocolate than cookie. And you like it that way!

*You know the phone number off by heart of the nearest chocolate factory that gives tours.

*You get the shakes if you haven't had your chocolate fix before 11am. And you know that no other type of caffeine will do!

*When people mention your name, they associate you with chocolate.....every time.

*You get offended if someone offers you something vanilla instead. (They should know you better than that!)

*You send your kids out at Halloween in hopes that they will get loads of chocolate. You then sneak it out of their bag when they are at school and hope they don't notice that it's missing. (hehehe!)

*While most human bodies are made from mostly water, yours has converted to mostly chocolate. Inevitable.

*If you stopped eating chocolate the industry would notice. People would loose their jobs, Cocoa growers would be in dire straits....(ok, now I'm getting a little silly. But you get the picture.)